My clients are intelligent men; not just because they use me, that goes without saying, but because they are at the top of the business food-chain. They often run multi-million dollar businesses, or family empires; they are creators of wealth, generals in charge of business legions. In the stress of personal unhappiness my clients wonder whether they are "paranoid" thinking their marriage is heading down the tube. Usually I am advising them about issues of asset protection and various wealth protection strategies and they are beginning to wonder is it all necessary; maybe they were just being "paranoid"? I usually ask some questions to find out why they feel things are not going well. Generally I find that despite their reputation, mens' intuition in these matters equals that of any woman; perhaps it is heightened by the pressure or stress that a failing marriage brings or perhaps the stereo-typical picture of an insensitive man is wrong - as most stereotypes are.

Here are five tell-tale signs that things are not as they should be.

1) Attention changes. Either the wife pays more attention to the husband due to guilt or else seems to find fault with the husband, because she tries to justify the affair in their mind.

2) Sex changes; this can be less interest in sex or indeed occasionally more interest.

3) Money changes. Try and keep a check on where the money goes; if she is more cautious with spending, it is often because there are additional expenses you don't know about. Sometimes a wife starts spending far more than previously on household or family outgoings. This may mean she has received legal advice and be increasing her "financial needs". This is your wife doing her little bit of pre divorce planning.

4) Personal changes; watch out for habit changes in gym attendance, new more sexy clothes in the cupboard - but not used for you! New hair styles, new perfumes, indeed any significant change of routine can signify a change of of object of desire.

5) Phone changes. Maybe a wife whispers on the phone and abruptly changes voice tone or hangs up when you come into the room. Check her mobile account, especially calls made to the same number after leaving for work or just before coming back from work.


As you wll have noticed all of these are behavioural changes of one form or another, because when a person knows their personal relationship is wrong their behaviour changes. Emotional detachment from you signifies a lot. Avoiding communication or talking signifies that the relationship is not on course. When she avoids either connection to her husband or from her obligations as a wife or mother and starts prioritising her needs and desires and behaving as if it is purely her life and she wants to live it her own way rather than with you, then break-up will follow. Sometimes she will accuse you of having an affair as a way of distracting attention.

When you discover some of these changes do not confront your wife as this will only mean she adjusts her behaviour and makes it more difficult for you to keep track of what she is doing. To the same degree that your wife's behaviour has changed because she knows she is turning her back on her relationship with you, so you must make sure that your behaviour does not change to alert her to your suspicions. Instead, keep things as "normal" as possible and do some "pre divorce planning" and exercises in "wealth and asset protection" for the day that comes. Just as she is "playing a game" with you, so you must learn to play the same game in reverse while you protect your assets and wealth and work out a divorce strategy.

Next time, I'll tell you five simple things you should do immediatley you become suspicious to protect your wealth and assets before the divorce war to follow.

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