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Does the end Of Church vows mean The end of Marriage? |
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Written by James Walsh
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Sunday, 12 August 2007 |
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These days, marriage is no longer perceived as by a couple as living ‘happily ever after.’ Married life has now become synonymous with commitment and uncertainty. More and more people are growing nervous about walking down the aisle.
<b>Decline of Church Vows</b> With growing disillusionment about marriage, couples are opting for cohabitation. In this arrangement, couples live together without any legal commitment and church vows to bind them. They are not legally bound to share financial liabilities either. Statistics indicate that 8 to 9 percent of couples were cohabiting in the US in 2001 and in the UK the number of cohabitating couples is expected to go upto a million in the next decade. Also, one out of four children in the UK and almost one out of two children in the US are born out of wedlock. In the past, cohabitation was legally and morally looked down upon but today except for a few places, this is legally permissible in the rest of the UK and the US. With a declining marriage rate and steep increase in the divorce and cohabitation rate, it would not be surprising, if marriage itself were to become extinct. <b>Cohabitation and the Divorce Rate</b> People opt for cohabitation in order to avoid divorce. They feel that by living with the person they can better understand each other and then decide if they want to get married. So, on a logical front, the divorce rate should be low among couples who got married after cohabitation. However, statistics disproves that logic. Most of the research conducted in this vertical has proved one thing: there is a higher chance of divorce among people who have been cohabitating. There could be a number of reasons for this: <ul><li><b>Fear of Commitment:</b> In the first place, the cohabiters avoided marriage due to the fear of commitment. This would make them opt for divorce in the wake of the slightest responsibility that comes their way, after marriage.</li> <li><b>Lack of Dedication:</b> When something goes wrong in the relationship, they might not make any effort to make it work.</li> <li><b>Higher Level of Expectation:</b> Cohabiters usually have a high level of expectation and might not be ready for small disappointments that are a common place in married life. </li> <li><b>Reluctance to Share the Burden:</b> They are accustomed to a life which did not require them to share financial and emotional burdens. The responsibilities of married life could distance them from their partner.</li> <li><b>Reservations about Marriage:</b> When something goes wrong, they may tend to blame it on marriage due to the reservations they carry against the institution of marriage. A lot of divorces have resulted due to people associating their problems to marriage.</li></ul> However, couples with faith in the institution of marriage, who may not have cohabited, have a higher success rate because they have a fresh perspective and share the excitement of starting life together. Hence, they may have an advantage over others. <b>Cohabitation –Is It Really the Answer?</b> When people choose cohabitation, they fail to see the lack of security offered by it. There are people who have lived for years together and when one of them is finally ready for marriage, the other person would not prefer it or even worse, might choose to walk out of the relationship. You might end up old, single and lonely. For all the love and support you receive in married life, commitment is a small price to pay. James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie <a href="http://www.quickie-divorce.com">Divorce</a> see http://www.quickie-divorce.com |
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